Things I’ve done in college

I’m thinking about applying to be a student speaker at my graduation ceremony. My idea for a speech is a list of interesting things that I’ve done in college. I’ll start with a statement about being a non-traditional student, and how I wanted college to help me expand my experience so I’d have a wider worldview with which to approach my writing. So the list will kind of show that I got what I wanted out of my college experience, and it will be funny as well. I’ll be adding to it as I think of things, and probably not all of this will make it into the final draft. But it’s kind of fun to do for it’s own sake anyway.

1. Used the word ‘homo-erotic’ in a serious presentation

2. Better than that, shouted the C-word repeatedly in front of an audience of hundreds of people

3. Was asked what my vagina would wear and say

4. Pulled the brass door handle off of Lind Hall

5. Waited for buses in -20 degree weather

6. Danced the Samba in Lapa, Brazil

7. Got raging drunk in Bela Horizonte, Brazil

8. Performed my first spoken word piece at a literary reading

9. Reclaimed my latina identity

10. Declared freedom from sexual exploitation for all through a bullhorn from the steps of Northrop

11. Explained feminism to a male French-Canadian in front of Coffman

12. Judged a poetry slam in The Whole

13. Discovered what Herman Melville thinks about women

14. Listened to transsexuals read poetry about their life experiences

15. Was asked whether one of my short stories liked music

16. Conceived, planned, and wrote a novel

17. Turned 25

18. Worked in Rarig, and was told not to call the police if I heard screaming

19. Discovered my husband unending patience with my overblown work ethic

20. Learned to work in a group without doing all the work

21. Helped build a poetry library

22. Asked my grandmother about birth control

23. Was declared an honorary jew